Sometimes You Can Go Home Again
I’ve been reading memoirs lately, and I finally got around to Mennonite in a Little Black 
Dress, which had a most unexpected run atop the New York Times best-sellers list a couple of years ago. Rhoda Janzen, its author, created a fresh and original voice: funny but not cruel, irreverent but not hostile to faith, poignant but not maudlin, risqué but not indecent.
She came from solid Mennonite stock (her father once headed the Mennonite Conference for Canada and the United States) and, like many before her, rebelled against her strict upbringing. Standing six-foot-two as a teenager, her height amplified by high heels and a bouffant dyed-blond hairdo, she must have seemed like a creature from another planet to her Mennonite classmates with their long skirts and clunky shoes and their hair tucked into neat buns covered with lace doilies.
A week before I read Janzen’s book I visited the largest settlement of 
Mennonite and Amish, in Ohio. I spoke at a few events, the first time that I can recall anyone in my audience arriving in a horse and buggy. I have known and worked with Mennonites over the years and have also had some contact with the Amish, commissioning them to build a few pieces of furniture when I lived in Chicago and sharing a meal in an Amish home in the oddly named town of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Mennonites trace their roots to Menno Simons, a 16th-century Dutch pastor who opposed infant baptism and believed strictly in nonviolence, forbidding his followers to join the army. European churches and governments responded with vicious persecution, causing the Mennonites and other Anabaptist groups to flee to other countries. Later a man named Jacob Amman led a group of reformers who broke off from other Mennonites and became known as Amish Mennonites.
Schism has often occurred among the Mennonites and Amish. There are Old Order and New Order Amish, Beachy Amish, Swartzentruber Amish, Kaufman Amish Mennonites, Conservative Mennonites, Reformed Mennonites, Holdeman Mennonites, Stauffer Mennonites, Progressive Mennonites, and Wisler Mennonites, a mere sampling of the scores of groups who can now be found in more than sixty countries. Most of these branches have their own distinctive list of do’s and don’t’s, with the Amish generally being the stricter.
The most conservative Amish will not use motors, paint, or compressed air though some factions allow machinery that runs on compressed air but not electricity. The carpenter who made my furniture used tools powered by compressed air generators but had no telephone; once a week he would travel on horseback into town to use the telephone and report on progress. As if to defy all stereotypes, in Ohio I met an Amish shopkeeper in traditional button-only black clothing who was operating two laser wood-carving machines. Go figure.
Some Amish men wear only one suspender, considering two a mark of pride. Some allow a tub and toilet inside the house but keep the sink outside. Not wanting to be ostentatious, some use only reflective tape, not a triangular warning sign, on the backs of their horse-drawn buggies, and stain their leather harnesses black. Their more lenient brethren, the Old Order Mennonites, began permitting automobiles in 1927, but only plain cars painted black, thus earning the name “Black Bumper Mennonites.”
It is easy to caricature such minority groups, as cartoonists and comedians do. Americans have a fascination with nonconformists, and a genre of “Amish fiction” has recently emerged, as well as several Hollywood movies and television shows centering on this subculture. In one controversial reality-TV program, Amish in the City, Amish teens were exposed to the broader culture by living together with non-Amish, which they call “English.” In the Midwest, and especially Pennsylvania, Amish settlements attract hordes of tourists with their intrusive cameras.
In my travels I have gained great respect for the quiet, simple way that Mennonites and Amish practice their faith. In Africa and Asia when I have asked, “Which relief and development organization does the best, most efficient work here?” inevitably the answer comes back “Mennonite Central Committee.” And the whole world took notice of the Amish spirit of forgiveness after the Nickel Mines massacre of schoolchildren in 2006. All Anabaptist groups have a long tradition of martyrdom, which no longer takes them by surprise. “We sin too,” explained one spokesman with eloquent simplicity, and more than half of those who attended the murderer’s funeral were Amish.
A visit to Amish and conservative Mennonite country shows it is possible to resist the materialistic, sex-saturated, celebrity-obsessed culture of modern America. It seems like a time-travel trip back to the 1950s, which is not all bad. Few of the people I talked to have radio, television, or Internet. The women wear little or no makeup and both sexes dress plainly. I spoke at a mostly-Mennonite high school chapel service where no student used the time to text friends or read magazines; they paid rapt attention. Mennonite children are more likely to aspire to the viola than the guitar.
In contrast to the Mennonites, most Amish do not even go to high school, much less college. They have a mandatory eight grades of education, usually in one-room schoolhouses, after which they assume their roles on the family farm or shop. Clean living results in a cancer rate among the Amish only 56 percent of the national average. Though crime rates are low in Amish and Mennonite communities, not all is peaceful. Some groups practice a harsh shunning of anyone who breaks the rules. Divorce is rare, but rumors of physical and sexual abuse persist. In a case that has shocked the peaceful Amish, this year several Amish are standing trial for forcibly cutting off the beards of members of a different sect.
Despite their strict rules on behavior, the Amish and conservative Mennonites have a tradition called rumspringa, or “running around,” in which their teenagers indulge in normally forbidden activities (partying, drinking, movies) for a year or so before deciding whether to join the order as an adult—sort of a prolonged Mardi Gras before Lent. A large majority of them, as many as 90 percent, return to the fold even after tasting the broader culture.
I have written about Mennonites and Amish together when they can be quite different depending on the branch. Amish retain their distinctive dress unless they “jump the fence” to join the Mennonites. The more progressive Mennonites wear modern dress, use modern technology, and on the outside seem virtually indistinguishable from their neighbors. They would probably offer the rejoinder, “Yes, but it’s what’s inside that counts.”
Rhoda Janzen, author of Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, would surely agree. Her own rumspringa lasted far longer than a year and she is still sorting out her faith while teaching writing at Hope College in Michigan. She wrote the memoir at age 43, a year that turned her whole life upside down. Her husband announced he was leaving her, after fifteen years of marriage, for Bob, whom he had met on Gay.com. That same week a car accident left her with serious injuries. And a short time later Rhoda faced breast cancer and a double mastectomy. What does a person do in the midst of a personal hurricane?
If you’re a Mennonite you return home, and that’s what Rhoda did, making her way back to the land of Borscht, fattening cookies, and corduroy-covered Bibles. She is blessed with parents who, though quirky in ways that give her rich material, welcomed her with open arms and provided a safe place for recovery.
Many Mennonite readers don’t like the book, judging it shrill, overstated, and unfair to their heritage. Most non-Mennonites love it, perhaps because it taps into a wistful longing we all have. It’s both tempting to cast off the shackles of childhood and fun to mock the foibles of whatever insular group we grew up in. And let’s face it, groups like the Mennonites don’t have the bright lights and sex appeal of the rest of society. (A local retail store in Ohio sells hand-cranked radios and blenders but no smart phones.)
When you really need comfort, though, when your world crashes in around you, you want a community that will welcome you back. Rhoda Janzen found just that.
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24 responses to “Sometimes You Can Go Home Again”
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About Philip Yancey
For Yancey, reading offered a window to a different world. So, he devoured books that opened his mind, challenged his upbringing, and went against what he had been taught. A sense of betrayal engulfed him.
It is always healthy to be reminded that even within larger groups, there is still great diversity; we speak of “the” Jews or “Muslims,” “Christians,” “Hindus,” “Mormons,” yet the reality is always more complex than that, isn’t it? Thanks for not only giving a good book review (and a nice brief explanation for the origin of the Mennonite and the Amish groups) but for also sharing some examples from the many different branches found within these faiths, each with their own distinctive practices and beliefs. An encyclopedia article can give the “essentials” of group religious faith and daily living, but an article like yours really brings everything to life. Nicely done, Philip, and thank you.
This splendid review by Philip Yancy(who is my most favorite author)was good reading.I am curious to know the Amish community in more detail.On my last visit to Pittsburgh,Pensylvania where my son lives,I couldnt visit this area and watch them closely.
Mathew George.
I am screaming and saying SOS… can I ask you direct questions and ask for advises? I can’t find direct contact. Please will you kindly response to me in email, thank you.
By the way, great article and your book “What’s So Amazing About Grace?” ROCKS! This is now on my most influenced book list.
Philip I sat nodding at this artcle and can highlight another dimension to the work of the mennonites-their world-wide peace work which I experienced initially here in Northern Ireland. In the 80’s at the height of the Northern Irish conflict and newly converted from a Protestant unionist community background I moved to live and work in a republican (Irish republican that is) area of inner city north Belfast. I moved into a house which I shared with a guy who was soon to become a great friend-a mennonite from Pennsylvania. Through Dave I learned of the mennonites involvement in many of the world’s conflict areas and their call to world wide peace work.
This contact between Dave and I culminated in my touring the mennonite church and community in all its rich variety from Pennsylvania right across to Seattle. It was the experience of a life-time and one which has provided many incredible memories.
Great article Philip.
Bill Fleming.
Hi Mr. Phillip,
I like reading Amish fiction so I’m glad you decided to review this book though it’s a memoir. I’m including it on my reading list. I found your blog after reading “What’s So Amazing About Grace?” It’s actually the first book I’ve read by you! It was very hard to digest because I had to ponder the things you were conveying, and I’m a little confused…”good confused” 🙂 Maybe I realize how much the Church needs to learn about grace, or even me! I’ve always been around Christians or the “Christian bubble” as they call it but God has allowed people that aren’t Christians in my life as I attend graduate school. In fact, I was surprised when my non-Christian friends helped me during a hard time at school, and my Church didn’t connect with me. That was a learning process! It also saddens me because I tried to stay away from my good friend when she started making wrong choices. I honestly didn’t know how to handle the situation but my actions were still wrong. When she called me out on it, I definitely felt convicted and now we’re good friends again. I still don’t agree with her choices but telling her every single time or keeping my distance from her is not how Jesus would handle it, I think. Also, I sin too but Jesus doesn’t stay away from me! Regarding your book, I’m having a hard time understanding some things and I’m still discussing them with others. It’s making us think which is good and I’m starting to see that the world is much bigger than Church, Bible Study, Christian friends, calling out sin, etc. I do have one question for you 🙂 I know we’re meant to show grace and love to others because Jesus did that, but would you say in every case? People talk about how Jesus was loving and He was, but He didn’t put up with the Pharisees, and He drove away the market people from the temple. Maybe I have this all wrong. I know you’re very busy so thank you very much for any response 🙂
You are reading memoirs. Does this mean you are preparing to write one yourself? I enjoyed Soul Survivor very much and look forward to the future book. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us.
This is completely off topic, because all I did was read the title, however, almost 15yrs ago I wrote you a letter (1998? 1999?) about Richard (I forget which book he is in?). I think you gave him the wrong reading material. I am currently reading The Christian in Complete Armour by William Gurnall, he is a 17th century (always get that wrong around 1650s writer), pg 242. It will be a little more precise in helping Richard understand the death he took on when he decided not to believe. I think the Victorian style (th’s reading) will help him more than the modern version. My husband gave me the Victorian style writing and it is taking me forever to read it through, but this part struck me so much as far as wanting that friendship with God, that I know it will help your friend. I have prayed for him for a long time along with a lot of others who do not believe in God’s Word. God’s Speed and may he again long for Christ’s redemptive, protective friendship again. Sincerely, A fan from a long time ago.
I am reminded of a pastor in Mennonite church that gave me some scripture references for a friend on mine that was having a lifestyle issue that turned his life into a quest for what was positive and socially redeeming. I share those scriptures below. There is something to be said for adding to social stability by adhereing to scriptural concepts even if that lifestyle is mocked by the general population at large.
There are positive effects from fearing the Lord and governmentsal authority.
1 Corinthians 6:9
New King James Version (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,… will inherit the kingdom of God.
Leviticus 18:22
New Living Translation (NLT)
22 “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.
Leviticus 20:13
New Living Translation (NLT)
13 “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.
New King James Version (NKJV)
13 If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.
Thanks Philip for the post and nice seeing you at jury duty! Although I don’t attend a Mennonite church currently, my heart and faith are always Anabaptist. It was nice to see your fair reflection on the Mennonites and Amish and I highly affirm the importance and value of Mennonite Central Committee, a wonderful outreach organization into the world.
Philip,
Thank you for your kind words. I meant to say in my earlier comments how much I appreciated your writing. I have read most of your books (a couple of them multiple times) and nearly always feel invigorated and inspired when I finish them. I especially appreciate your gracious thoughts and vulnerable perspective. I’ve always said that one day I intend to write my own “Soul Survivor” book (I was raised in non-instrumental Church of Christ) and explain how my faith survived to this point “in spite of the church.”
I suppose Janzen, you, me, and most everyone raised up in the church could add a chapter or two at least. Just glad His grace is so amazing to account for a sometimes faithless, often bitter, and always questioning sinner like me.
Kindly,
Jeff
P.S.-as for my blogging infrequency, well, I’ll blame the 5 kids for now.
I read one of the books of Philip “What Good is God”. I found it on someones hand, i share some parts with my bible study group, it is amazing. I am Ethiopian and i could not possibilly get his books. Can someone or a group sponsor me to have all his books???? God will pay you in other ways. Please do me a favour and send me all his books. Please! Please!
Belt Tadesse
P. O. Box 120888
Addis Ababa
Ethiopia
I must admit I haven’t read the book, but felt compelled to offer some observations after seeing my wife’s (mini-van driving, english teacher, mother of 5) comments above.
I remember lying beside her in bed while she read this book. She rarely laughs out loud, but Janzen’s words tickled the right bone I suppose. Curiously, however, she would laugh a little and then abruptly put it down, proclaiming she couldn’t read it any more. I sensed a dynamic tension between her really identifying with the stories and people, all the while trying to maintain a dignity and sense of loyalty to her own upbringing that sometimes seemed missing from the text.
Even so, she finished the book. In retrospect, I think for her it was a vicarious (and maybe a little cathartic) experience- kind of like the things she often thought, but never would say aloud.
In this sense, maybe it would do us all good to eat from the cookie jar of our own religious experiences, without having to keep all the calories.
Mr. Yancey, I was reared in a Mennonite home in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. I too read Ms. Janzen’s book and was immediately curious about your review when I saw your post. I have devoured many of your books and could have guessed that you would be so gracious. While I now attend a non-denominational church (that oddly seems to attract former Mennonites and Catholics), I continue to value the attitudes of servanthood and humility both taught and lived through the, more colorful than one might guess, characters who have shaped my early life. However, it is people like you who have presented me with ideas of grace and forgiveness which have allowed me to continue to grow in Christ. The Mennonites taught me discipline and gave me knowledge; from my other Christian friends I have found freedom to love and worship. Thank you for sharing. You have no idea how often a wife, mother of five, English teacher, mini-van driving, former Mennonite, Christian sister, has stopped and pondered some of your words. Bless you, and stay encouraged!
I was raised Mennonite (progressively progressive…) among a Menn. college & high school community in VA, but now belong to a different denomination with some similar anabaptist beliefs. I read The Little Black Dress and have to say didn’t like much of it. Could definitely resonate with some of it, enjoyed some of the humor, but found her to be bitter and lost, and overall just making fun of her upbringing. I felt badly for her parents. There are more useful books to spend your time with (like some of Yancey’s…)
The author of the blog has likely worked with many non-conservative Mennonites, or Anabaptists through his years as an evangelical writer. However, he remarks primarily on the conservative branches of this peace-based faith practice, and he chose not to utilize the non-conservative people he knows as a resource. This gives one the impression that you have to be born into the faith. I fear he fell into the temptation to paint with the broadest of brush strokes, rather than explore the nuances of Anabaptism, as Janzen explores them in her hilarious book. Any of his research should have pointed him in the direction of the Mennonite Brethren-ie, if you’re from Fresno, you’re probably MB! Kinda like ‘if you’re _____________, you’re probably a redneck’. A search of the data of Mennonite Brethren conference moderators (Rhoda’s father) in the past 60 years in the USA would have been insightful. They DO have computers, and my non-Mennonite sister-in-law once remarked that the teenage girls all ‘looked like Madonna’…no clumpy shoes there, except if they were the latest in fashion. My husband is Mennonite, despite the ‘non-ethnic’ name, and there are more Mennonites in emerging countries than there are in North America.
All this notwithstanding, I was glad to see a positive plug for the MCC on Facebook. It and Mennonite Disaster Service are some of the places where we all come together for service-‘a cup of cold water in My Name’,-and it does work! When we gather together for annual meetings for these organizations; one suspender or 2; decked out like Madonna; we are all there, working toward a common goal of service in Christ’s name, no questions asked.
Thanks very much for your thumbs up to Mennonite Central Committee! http://www.mcc.org
I have read ‘Little Black Dress’ and rather enjoyed it. Sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves while retaining what is important. I became a Mennonite at age 20, so do not have all THEIR baggage–but brought plenty of my own to deal with. I love my church with its emphasis on adult baptism, following Jesus, community and peace and justice.
I do wish you would have explored the more ‘progressive'(for lack of a better word) Mennonite understandings rather than focusing on the Amish and conservative Mennonites. That is where I find myself on the spectrum.
I have read all of your books as well and have grown from them. God bless!
I laughed out loud through the first 50 pages of the book. It was funny and a bit surreal. As a Mennonite of Rhoda’s generation, I could resonate. But it is also true that there were things about the book that I did not like. I do not think that Rhoda was intentionally misleading, but readers do seem to get the wrong impression about her upbringing based on her telling of the story. Unlike the image you evoke in your second paragraph above, it is highly unlikely that Rhoda, in her particular community of Mennonites, ever had “Mennonite classmates with … long skirts and clunky shoes and … hair tucked into neat buns covered with lace doilies.” In fact, her experience of such Mennonites may be as rare as your own. Yet somehow, this is the impression that readers get from “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.” Even with this criticism, I loved the memoir and am grateful to Rhoda Janzen for sharing it with us.
her Mennonite classmates with their long skirts and clunky shoes and their hair tucked into neat buns covered with lace doilies.
Philip, thanks for your fair and astute observations. As a former Mennonite–and Mennonite pastor–I experienced both its strengths and weaknesses. While I resonated with their theology, I discovered that I wasn’t a good fit with their culture. Today, I consider myself an Anabaptist Presbyterian (with a little charismatic flair!). Thirteen years after departing the Mennonite Church, I find myself overwhelmingly thankful for my heritage: their commitment to community, dedication to living biblically, and faithfulness to pacifism.
can’t wait to read this book! Thanks, as always, for your words.
This is a big part of the reason I’m so sad my mother died. I now can’t go home again. Previously I knew that I always had a backstop, that if I urgently needed money, or help, or somewhere to stay that she’d be there. Now it’s just me, and if things go wrong, I don’t have a sure refuge. My father is worse than useless, my in-laws are lovely and very helpful, but it’s not the same as your own blood.
This article stirs something deep within me. I believe in and love community. I’ve spent many years with my current one and as parts of it are no longer healthy, it is HARD to know when to leave. I used to wonder what was WRONG with battered spouses (I do not mean to imply that I have been battered by my community), but that it’s not as simply as I used to think!
I will be putting this on my ‘to read’ list. Probably the short list, too.