My Longest Day
Last weekend was the fourth anniversary of the rollover accident which I describe in the 
first chapter of What Good Is God? Appropriately, we spent it with some wonderful friends from the church in Los Alamos, New Mexico, where I spoke on Prayer the day before my Ford Explorer slipped off an icy road and tumbled over and over down an embankment.
February 25, 2007, was the longest day of my life. In all I spent seven hours strapped to a body board as doctors tried to determine whether a fragment of the crushed vertebrae had punctured my carotid artery. “We have a jet standing by to fly you to Denver for emergency surgery,” the doctor told me. “But, truthfully, if the artery is punctured, you won’t make it.”
Seven hours is a long time. I reviewed my life, regrets and nostalgic memories both, contemplated a possible future as a paraplegic, called loved ones to tell them goodbye just in case. As a Christian writer, I knew I should be thinking spiritual thoughts, but I have to admit that my main regret was that I had climbed 51 of the 54 14,000-foot mountains in Colorado. I can’t die yet—I have three more to climb, I kept thinking.
That same summer, after the neck brace came off, I climbed the last three 14ers. Now, four years later, I’m back skiing moguls and enjoying this grand world. I feel very blessed, and will never forget the born-again feeling of getting another chance at life. Not everyone has that chance. I have friends who went through similar accidents and never walked again, and others who have permanent brain injuries; the crosses beside the Colorado roads (and on Colorado mountain trails) bear witness to still others whose lives ended abruptly.
During the recovery months I heard from friends, loved ones, and readers whom I have never met. As I read the kind of heartfelt words that people often don’t express until it’s too late, I felt like Tom Sawyer attending his own funeral. On down days, I sometimes rummage in a box and re-read them.
The overwhelming gift I take away from my accident is a bedrock sense of gratitude for life itself. This afternoon I stopped work and hiked along a ridge with a view of snow-capped mountains, sat on a rock and watched the birds flit from tree to tree, startled a herd of deer grazing on the hillside. Spontaneous praise spilled out. For all its problems, this world is a magnificent place. I rejoice that I am still here to enjoy it.
“Anyone who is among the living has hope—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!…Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.” (Ecclesiastes (9: 4, 7)
Share this
23 responses to “My Longest Day”
Leave a Reply
About Philip Yancey
For Yancey, reading offered a window to a different world. So, he devoured books that opened his mind, challenged his upbringing, and went against what he had been taught. A sense of betrayal engulfed him.
I have reread disappointment with God again and am interested in getting the book on Job by the one you call Richard.
Dear Mr. Yancey,
I have read only one of your books (Where Is God When It Hurts?), but have wanted to read more for years. Today, as I wait in limbo to find out if I have breast cancer, I read the account of your accident (the epilogue of What Good Is God?) and your blog post celebrating four years of renewed life. I feel blessed to become reacquainted with your work and find wisdom, comfort, and hope there.
My goal is, throughout my own sobering process of diagnosis and planning for an uncertain future, to remain hopeful and grateful for the gifts I am aware of each day, but, admittedly, do not always fully enjoy. Your life sounds wonderful, with deep faith, a loving partner and family, time and resources to climb and revel in the wonders of nature, a calling that blesses so many, and untold opportunities and blessings. In comparison (unfair to us both!), my own life experience of painful divorce and single parenthood, the loss of one of my three children to an accident, another child’s heartbreaking struggles, financial worries, slogging away to achieve an advanced degree, a stressful career as a high school teacher, the perfect life partner if only he would marry me, aging family elders, and now the possible cancer. . . in comparison, one could get cynical, ask why me, and descend into self-pity and envy of those whose outcomes seem better. PLEASE keep writing things that will help life-long believers but everyday doubters like me meet and bear our burdens with appropriate perspective, a faith response that goes beyond Christian rhetoric, and reality-based wisdom that affirms God’s goodness and deep love for us, no matter what. Thank you for keeping things real.
I’ll get to those unread books now.
I was interested to read your recommendation of ‘Disappointment with God’ in response to a question above because this week it has done for me just what the writer wants for her friend. My life has had aspects similar to yours–strict Fundamentalist childhood, (but in PA minus the racism issue), Bible College, loss of parent during youth, love of nature and mountains, and crisis of faith. But mine came after college and lasted for 30+ years, during which I considered myself a Secular Humanist. Seven years ago I moved to Wales to marry a Christian man I’d met during my travels, and got back into church through him (English Methodist). I couldn’t really say that I had left behind the many doubts and negative feelings of those years of disbelief, but I put myself in a place where God could speak to me and help me to overcome all that accumulated negativity. I got involved in volunteer work doing the weekly bulletins and quarterly magazine, posters, publicity, etc., and became quite committed to the people and work of the church. During sermons and singing the hymns I used to love, I often felt God was close, but I always knew it wouldn’t last beyond Sunday afternoon. Recently, when I admitted my struggle to our young pastor’s wife, she recommended ‘Finding God in Unexpected Places’ and I read the revised edition. That led to ordering several more of your books, and this past week my breakthrough came when I read ‘Disappointment with God’. It was perfect for my situation, and I couldn’t put it down. Page by page my negative thoughts about God melted away as I met the God you described. He’s no less problematical or mysterious than before, but he has never for me been so real, so alive, so passionate about loving humans and wanting their love in return. I have found freedom from all my past junk and can love him back without doubts. I’m eager to get on with some of the other books and to discover more of your very helpful interpretations of scripture. My husband wants to read the book, and I told a friend at church about it this a.m. and she wants to get a copy. Funny that an American should learn about your books in Wales! I see you will be in the UK very soon, but unfortunately, we’ll not be able to get to any of the locations you’re visiting at this time. We hope you have a wonderful and meaningful trip over here.
You are rejoicing to be in this world for longer – how do you think the millions of us who are sustained by your insight & writing feel? Thank you, thank you.
Philip:
So glad you’re still with us! God bless you.
Tim
a lament of mine is that it takes horrific pain to inspire leaping joy and gratitude – why can’t we just get “it” without having to be brought to the bottom of the depths? Even though I was moved by this post, truly, I will likely forget and will ultimately need my own rebirth of sorts – and unfortunately such rebirths come from a death.
Mr. Yancey,
Thanks for sharing your post. Oftentimes the pressing demands of my daily tasks
rob me of thoughtful regard to the most important things in life. Thank you for reminding me of at least two reasons why I wake up each day and why I continue to do what I do.
I started reading your books 10 years ago. You have no idea how much your insights have inspired and encouraged me throughout the years. I like the fact that you write not as an expert or a preacher but as a lifelong student of faith who’s still trying to learn and master the ropes. Whenever I read your books, I feel like I’m simply having a long talk with a friend or old acquaintance, and not like I’m listening to a church pastor’s sermon or admonition. I don’t know how to fully explain it, but your words have a way of reaching me at the exact moment that I need them. For that, I am grateful. I hope that you would continue to write more and more books and stories to share with us.
I just finished What Good is God. I kept looking for a nugget, something to give to my sister of the heart who feels as if she has lost her faith. I’m still looking. Maybe I need to reread Soul Survivor and What’s So Amazing About Grace?. Is there another of your books that might contain this important nugget? (What a question.) My friend has poor health that will never really get better. She has had 27 surgeries, and life is a huge struggle for her each day. She has been such a blessing in my life. I really want to give her something that could comfort her and renew her. She needs hope and peace.
Thanks, Philip! The specific story/link of my neck injury/surgery is:
http://blessingthebeloved.blogspot.com/2011/01/paralysis-in-his-presence.html
God bless!
Mr. Yancey,
Thank you for writing this. I’m a sixteen year old high school student, and so many times I find in myself a horribly wrong attitude of complaint. Why so much homework, or stress about ACTS and college? Your blog reminded me again that life is precious, I’ve been blessed beyond all measure, and even if I exchanged all my words of complaint into praise and thankfulness, I can still never say enough.
I was wondering though: What do you do personally with feelings of restlessness? I often get this overwhelming need to be somewhere else, doing something…its rather hard to put to words. Sometimes this restlessness is incapitating and I can’t focus on anything. Do you ever feel this way, and if so, what do you do to “recover?”
Philip,
As you know, John slipped on ice in Jan. and suffered two violent falls and it’s a miracle he’s alive. His first reading, with post concussion syndrome, was completing What Good Is God? and he was deeply moved. Thank the Lord you and he were gifted with second chances. Abundant gratitude and blessings to you! Bobbe (and John)
Hello, I have read many of your books. What’s so amazing about Grace is my favorite. I am a new Stephen Minister, I’ll be meeting with a care reciever for the 1st time tonight. Along with prayer, I brought out Disappointment with God and What good is God. I know enough about my care reciever that your words of inspiration will help me as I minister to him. You have given hope to many people who thought there was no hope or grace left. Keep using your gifts!!! Thanks!
Does your book What Good is God come in the German Language?
I would like to send a copy to German friends if so.
Thanks
Mr. Yancy:
Toward the end of “I Wish I Had Known” you quote a verse from 1 John. “If your heart condemns you, God is greater than your heart.” I’ve read through multiple translations of 1 John and can not find a verse that is translated this way or even a verse that seems similar.
Help!
Thanks
Richard
Found your Longest Day post while searching for a way to respond to “What Good Is God?” I had finished reading and was wanting to let you know how much each chapter meant to me as I read. After reading Longest Day I think I will simply take my grand daughter by the hand on take a walk on an absolutely wonderful day in northeast Florida. For it is now that God favors what I do.
Great choice that you made. You “got it” without having to go through the trauma first. Life is a gift indeed.
Philip
What an excellent reminder of all that we have to appreciate in this life. Hopefully we can learn to practice thankfulness on a regular basis without the traumatic experiences forcing us to. I’m so thankful God pulled you through that accident and that he saw fit to continue using you to bless others. Thanks to you for the inspiring reminder!
Thank you for inspiring me even more.. The gift of “enjoying life” is so awesome. More of us should take the time to take that hike.. climb that last peak..give a smile..a handshake of friendship.. Evertime I read something you write I have to rethink my priorities and the GOODNESS of GOD.
God bless you, so much. And thank for sharing your experiment.
When I got a car accident, I reminded the context of your book, whose name is “The Disappointed with God”. God also hurt himself like me.
From right now, this is very good experiment for my life. God is almighty that my the worst memory becomes the best memory in my life.
May God bless you and take care your health.
You are a blessing, Father has used you in my journey from legalism to grace.
Philip-
Something I need to learn. My 7 hours is about 30 years long, but it’s of a different nature. Nonetheless, I’ve been thinking lately that my focus is wrong. In “City of Angels” the angels are presented as missing out on much of what we experience through our senses. I don’t know if the theology is good, but it’s an interesting concept. That even our bad days are to be enjoyed as LIFE… I’m not there yet.
A new friend–he’s 88, I’m 58… I think that in many ways, he’s younger than I. He doesn’t fuss over stuff the way I do.
May you continue to enjoy your second chance, and may you continue to write about it.
Blessings, Marty
I am convinced that life is a gift from the Creator, given not just to the one who breathes it. Lived rightly, it is a gift to the rest of us as well. And that’s why I share your sense of gratitude. Your life is not just yours, and you know it. Thanks, Philip.
Thanks for sharing this experience, Philip! Scary, but so interesting what the human body does during “shock”. I was remembering what my neuro professor told us in one class about wanting to get a tattoo on her body that said, “if I have a spinal cord injury, please inject steroid immediately!” So, when the MD told me that they he’d like to inject Sol-u-Medrol because he was worried about the cord, I said, “please!” 🙂 Interestingly enough, I just had the nudge to write about my whole experience with my neck injury/surgery. It’s on my site and the post is called “Paralysis in His Presence” if you ever want to read it! Thanks for writing, Philip. You bless so many of us!
From the picture of the squashed and gutted car, you are certainly blessed to roam rims of mountains and to startle a herd of grazing deer. You paint pictures of life with your words. That most often best comes from one who has faced the pictureless darkness of his or her mortality.
My gut jumped when you voiced gratitude over “the born-again feeling of getting another chance at life.” My car has not rolled and tumbled down a cliff, but I have come out from under the knife three times hearing the word “benign.” And so I, too, celebrate things like a new spring, chattering birds, and my old Zach the Cat. I thank God for breathing, walking, ministry, creating, and loving privileges today.
May God continue to bless you, P.Y., with life . . . which you and your wife rightly celebrate each Feb. 25.